It Looks Different Now

I woke up today with my mind calm and the constant voices in my head silent. It’s amazing what sleep can do; I consider it a lovely gift after another stressful week of life. The day was clear, the sun was shining. I could even hear birds tweet occasionally over the traffic that continues to move on the streets below me.

As I stood by the window, I could see couples of people starting their day off with a walk to get their daily exercise. There are clouds in the sky, but there is plenty of blue in sight. It is a weekend, in the month of July, but it looks different now.

This morning I got up after 9am, showered and brushed my teeth. Instead of putting on track pants like I would normally on a weekend I reached for my jeans, a polo shirt and my French Connection jumper. On this day I decided I will get dressed up to go and get coffee. I wore a scarf and jacket I haven’t worn so far this winter, I put on my hat and looked in the mirror. It looked nice. I smiled.

I then looked down and thought, which mask will I wear today? I decided to wear my black mask, keep it simple. I placed the elastic from the mask around my ears and put my headphones and sunglasses on. I looked at myself in the mirror again and thought, it looks different now.

I walked out my front door and to the elevator, pressed the button and waited as my sunglasses fogged up. With a gigantic sigh I took off my sunglasses and entered the lift. I sanitised my hands in the lift and pressed the basement level carpark, it would be the first of much sanitiser my hands would experience today. Walking to my car, even with my mask on I can smell the overwhelming odour of cigarettes. Even as a former smoker, I just don’t understand why people smoke in enclosed spaces anymore, let alone a basement carpark.

Hopping in my car I turned on the ignition and the radio started to blare with the news bulletin. A familiar sound of late, a reporter listing the number of coronavirus cases and deaths in Victoria. I sighed again, for I already knew the numbers, how can you avoid them, I thought to myself, it looks different now.

I quickly shifted my listening to my phone and my latest Spotify playlist. A mixture of pop feel good tunes and dance remixes. If there is one thing we can always count on, it is music keeping your mood on the right track. I then drove my way to the shopping centre to get my coffee hit for the day. As I pulled into the massive normally chock a block carpark on a Saturday, it was practically empty. There were around eleven cars in the section I drove into at 10:30am. I parked my car in-between a mass of empty car spaces, hopped out of my car and began walking into the shopping centre and thought, it looks different now.

As I entered the shopping centre, of course, I sanitised my hands. I approached my coffee stand and smiled, whilst then remembering that today, no one can see my smile, it is behind my mask. The centre was painfully quiet, there would have been around five people in sight as well as the two baristas at the stand. I come here regularly to get my coffee so the baristas know my order. Our normal banter restricted by the fact we are now wearing masks, we both shrug and laugh it off as I remarked, “keep it real my friend, keep it real”. I thought to myself, if this is real, it looks different now.  

I received my coffee order and headed back to the car, as soon as I hopped in the car, you guessed it, I sanitised my hands. I sat there for a moment and looked around. Still amazed that over three months ago, this was the sight I was seeing when the shopping centre was actually closed, now, it is eerily familiar, and yet awkwardly different. I drove home. As I walked through the door with my coffee, I took off my mask, headphones, jacket and went to wash my hands. “Happy birthdays to me, happy birthdays to me…” For someone who enjoys living a spontaneous way of life these rituals are becoming dangerously comforting. I then sat in-front of my computer, opened up Microsoft Word and thought, what am I going to write about today?

Pausing, I turned my head and looked out the window, I then returned my gaze to my screen and wrote… It looks different now.